Assume Self Responsibility
As a Counsellor and Therapist, I have probably had more therapy than anyone else you know. I also loved someone once, I tried to fix them while almost breaking me. Foolish, but it had strength. We can find ourselves
engaging in another’s behaviour of which is unhealthy for us. Why? Because it serves the other person. Because we are being supportive? The Chinese proverb of bring man a fish he will eat for a day, teach man to fish, they will never go hungry lends itself to refocus helping. It reframes how to serve without compromising self and that you can respond in a more practical ‘serving’ way. When you help … , can you distinguish between helping and enabling the problem?
Nowadays and more the wiser, I do no harm but I take no sh!t. Our understanding, experiencing, and accepting of others is very important in being human but not above the understanding, experiencing and acceptance of yourself. In our increasingly narcissistic society, if you are willing to put someone else’s needs before your own and compromise who you are or your-self-understanding, it is highly likely you will eventually be exploited by irrepressible behaviour, such as the narcisstic personality.
But … if you are setting stronger boundaries for yourself, being kinder to yourself especially when you regress or make mistakes; when you can respond rather than react and spend most of the time inside your own head (not in theirs) you are learning, progressing, growing and most importantly, focusing. Continue to Focus on being comfortable with yourself. Equally, in the good flow and when you mess up.
This month’s quote was shared by a dearly-held and departed friend whose life was lost to us; October, 2021. In honour of J. “This is how I decide if someone else’s words or behaviour towards me is acceptable or not”
Go well in your strength; in choice of how you want to be treated and assume that responsibility for yourself.
(And … avoiding certain people is not weakness, it is wisdom).
Discernment is necessary.
Being human with you